By Tony Peroni and Vinny Cooper
Healthcare. The military. Economics.
These are all words correlated with the primary issues of the upcoming 2020 presidential election. As the calendar days slip by, Democrats are gearing up to hit the campaign trail and face Republican incumbent President Donald Trump. One Democratic hopeful is New Jersey’s very own, Senator Cory Booker.
T-Dubs. Chicken Tenders. Eight-dollar basket.
These are the words that resonate most with students at the College. As the days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, students are agonized by the fact that the Chicken Tender Basket at T-Dubs is worth an exorbitant eight (8) dollars.
For years, students have been reaching out to the peppy and young presidential-hopeful in order to pass a bill in the U.S. Senate in order to subsidize the worth of T-Dubs tenders.
“I’ve written to Cory a number of times,” stated Nora Hoover, a secondary education major who is pursuing her masters at the College. “Whether it be through Twitter, an email, a handwritten letter or a phone call, I just can’t help but feel that Senator Booker is prioritizing others over us.”
Public outrage was sparked on campus following the announcement that Senator Bob Menendez passed sweeping legislation on a Mozz Sticks subsidy for Rowan University. What once used to cost $12 for 6 mozzarella sticks at the South Jersey institution has been lowered to a holy $3, which is a 75 percent decrease.
“I don’t think Senator Booker knows what he’s doing,” clamored Bobby Flow, a 65-year-old Ewing local who frequents the dining establishment that is located in the freshman housing development. “What does he expect to happen? People live off these tenders! Do I have to go broke before there’s some change that happens in this godforsaken state?”
It isn’t only senior citizens who sneak into the freshman dorm dining hall who have a problem with the outrageous price of these greasy tenders. Students from all majors have been protesting the senator’s sheer negligence since he announced his presidential campaign in February.
“No affordable tender glory, no Cory!” shouted a group of peaceful protesters from the roof of the Lot 7 parking garage.
The Signal contacted the Booker campaign only to hear the cold voice of an automated robot. The inhumane, bone-chilling answering machine voice instructed me to “Press one to speak with your state representative, or press two for more options”. You bet your chicken tender lovin’ ass I pressed one.
“Hello, this is Presidential hopeful Cory Booker here, former mayor of Newark New Jersey and lover of Democracy. How may I help you?”
“Hello, Senator Booker. This is The Chip, TCNJ’s premier news breaking politics column. I have one question and one question only… When are you subsidizing our beloved tenders?!”
“Uhhhhmmm…. Uhh – uhh- uhh,” stammered Senator Booker, unaware that he was going to be put into the corner with such a hard-hitting question. I could hear him sweating through the phone, nervously pacing back and forth within his senatorial office space, wiping his perspiring forehead with a handkerchief. Suddenly, the line went cold and Booker ceased to comment on the issue.
Since 2014, the price of T-Dubs tenders has inflated by a staggering 10 percent annually, meanwhile, the purchasing power of the average student’s points plan has fallen by 15 percent. Distraught, broke and hungry student consumers are receiving fewer tenders at a higher cost.
With the 2020 election season just months away, Booker will without a doubt have to face the music at some point and hear the chorus of students singing for a peaceful solution to this ever-so-tender predicament.