June 5, 2020
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The Hollyword: Burnin’ up the purity ring

By Johnanthony Alaimo
Columnist

You see that Katy Perry album on your desk? Throw it out the window. You see your laptop? Delete everything on it. You see your roommate? Punch her in the face. NOTHING matters anymore because the Queen B and Jay-Z are collaborating on another album. After looking up what collaborating means (it’s not as sexy as you would think), the unstoppable duo are working on a whole bunch of new music together set to be released in late 2014 or early 2015. YAAAAASS! Drop that album on our heads and make us bleed! I’m hoping it magically appears in my iTunes library like the U2 album, but this time I’ll actually have a smile on my face rather than a confused and disgusted scowl. Not many other details exist about the upcoming collection, but Bey fans are batshit crazy, and they’d buy an album filled with heavy breathing and the sound of Blue Ivy shitting herself so it doesn’t really matter.

In his latest barrage of douchebaggery, Kanye West once again proves himself the king. In a concert in Sydney, Australia, Kanye reportedly told the crowd, “I can’t do this show until everybody stand up – unless you got a handicap pass and you get special parking and shit.” Someone with the gall to go to a Kanye West show in a wheelchair though faced his wrath. After everyone was standing up, a lone individual in a wheelchair was left, you guessed it, sitting. Kanye once again stopped his show to have his bodyguard confirm that the person indeed could not stand up, no matter how “good” his music really was. I don’t know about you, but actually demanding people stand up, regardless of a disability or not, is pure narcissism. If I don’t want to stand up, I’m not going to. Of course, if I were to pull such a thing at a Kanye West show, I would probably be mobbed to death. But at least I’d go protecting my values … at a Kanye West concert.

Nick Jonas ditches the purity ring for a change of lifestyle – but he promises his heart’s “still in the church,” though. (AP Photo)
Nick Jonas ditches the purity ring for a change of lifestyle – but he promises his heart’s “still in the church,” though. (AP Photo)

News flash: Nick Jonas no longer wears a purity ring, but I figured that was a given. Remember back in the day when the trio of Jonases all wore matching cockblockers? Well, Nick and Joe don’t do that anymore. The only brother to successfully go through with it was Kevin Jonas, who lost his virginity on his wedding night. He must be so pissed off. Nick, on the other hand, explained that he changed as an individual but that his heart is still in the church. But honestly, I’m more concerned about where other parts of his body are.

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