Chris Martin: trouble in para-, para-, paradise

 

Chris is no longer the apple of Gwyneth’s eye. (AP Photo)
Chris is no longer the apple of Gwyneth’s eye. (AP Photo)

Oh, Goop. At least, I think that’s what Gwyneth Paltrow said as she sighed over a slice of vegan pizza. Paltrow and Coldplay front man Chris Martin are calling it quits on their marriage. The couple have been married for 10 years and had two children, the infamous Apple and Moses. Gwyn posted the news on her website, goop.com, which sounds like a site that would host 2Girls1Cup. I have never been a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow but divorce is never fun, especially for the kids. Unless Gwyneth marries Robert Downey, Jr. Then everyone wins.

Zac Efron is losing, though to homeless people? Apparently he and his bodyguard got into an altercation with a group of men when his car ran out of gas in L.A. First off, Zac, why you runnin’ on empty? You’re not Corbin Bleu. Fill that tank up and treat yo self! Honestly, these “homeless” people sound a lot like Vanessa Hudgens and the rest of the High School Musical crew. So beware, if you’re in Cali, Vanessa will fuck you up. She is roaming up and down Santa Monica and she is thirsty for blood and selfies.

Joan Rivers slammed Lena Dunham, star of the HBO show “Girls” for being fat and naked a lot. While it is true Lena does tend to be in the nude for a good portion of the show, Joan Rivers definitely has no right to criticize the way somebody looks. Has she looked in the mirror lately? She looks like a Power Rangers villain. She has had more work done on her face than a street with potholes. So, Joan, before you go out and attack someone, make sure you’re not looking like Skeletor.

 

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