Do you want shocking news?
Then you better stop reading. Chris Brown, singer/Karma abuser, has struck out again.
He punched some dude in the face. His excuse? The guy photobombed a picture Brown was taking with a fan. Listen loser, just because a guy is a jerk doesn’t mean you need to go Muhammed Ali on him. That movie came out years ago and Will Smith did just fine — ain’t nobody looking for a sequel. No word yet on a reaction from Rihanna as of this writing, but that’s probably because she’s too busy not giving a fuck.
Just in case you were feeling better about humanity, Julianne Hough was caught donning blackface for her Halloween outfit. The actress, best known as “Who?” was seen as “Crazy Eyes,” a popular character from Netflix’s “Orange is the New Black.” The character in the show is portrayed by an African-American woman. So naturally, Hough, a white woman, decided to really get into character by darkening her skin with make up. A+ in racism, F in racing away from the problem.
Unfortunately, Julianne did not realize the severity of the situation until everyone in the world started screaming at her. She has since apologized, but this will certainly go down as the worst outfit decision made by an individual since Lil‘ Kim’s anything.
And finally, the Jonas Brothers are no more. Say it ain’t so, Joe! Apparently, the group has been arguing over everything from music videos to individual opportunities. Like damn, Kevin, can’t you have the decency to share your wife?
The trio gave a candid interview to “Good Morning America,” where they basically laid the Jonas Brothers to rest. So in the year 3000, when we’re all living underwater, we can look back at the history books and recall one of the darkest days of our nation. Now that the brothers are essentially “unemployed,” hopefully they can sign up for some Obamacare!