Lets Talk About Sex

You may have been a seasoned dating veteran in high school, but the game changes when you get to college. You’re in a close living space with the 50 or more people on your floor, and relationships are bound to quickly develop. Before you fall into the common freshmen dating traps, take a second to consider how your choices could play out.

Floorcest: It may seem like a great idea to date someone from your floor when you first arrive at the College. You’re in close proximity and will be able to spend a lot of time together.

The trick is that floorcest relationships burn out quickly for this exact reason. You learn what irritates you about a person quickly when you’re virtually living with them, and you may just need some time apart.

This isn’t to say that if you date someone on your floor it won’t work out. A couple from my freshman floor is still dating, going into our senior year.

High school relationships: It’s not easy to come into college dating your high school flame, especially if he or she is attending a different school, and I know from experience. Your schedules may be completely different, and it’s inevitable that you will go out and spend time with new people, causing tension.

It is possible for your relationship to last, but the most important factors to consider are honesty, and the college experience. Don’t let your boyfriend or girlfriend three hours away stop you from doing what you truly want to do at the College.

Be careful with random hook ups: In college, it becomes generally acceptable among your peers to have sexual, non-romantic relationships. Some people are capable of having this kind of relationship without becoming jealous, hurt or secretly interested, but it isn’t for everyone.

Before traveling down the hook-up path, reflect on what you really want. If you seriously want a long-term relationship, hook-ups probably aren’t your best bet because more times than not, a “no strings attached” relationship doesn’t become exclusive.

Be considerate of your roommate: Whether you are involved with your high school flame, your new college flame or just have a hook up buddy, it is always imperative to consider your roommate’s feelings.

You are sharing a living space with them for the next year, so it is important to keep in mind that what you want from your living space won’t always make them comfortable. Whether you’re perpetually locking your roommate out, or being constantly cozy in his or her presence, it’s likely that they’ll quickly become irritated. Have a conversation about what both of you feel is appropriate, and come to an agreement.

Don’t rush in: Although you may have clicked during Welcome Week, that doesn’t mean you’re a match made in heaven. You may just have a few things in common, and beyond that, be entirely incompatible.

You don’t need to find your new boyfriend or girlfriend within the first month of school. If you take the time to get to know the person you’re interested in, chances are higher that you will have a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

Lauren Gurry can be reached at gurry2@tcnj.edu.