How to succeed on April Fools’ Day without really trying

Every person wants to pull that perfect April Fools’ Day prank, but many have neither the wits nor the means to do so. So we here at The Signal decided to give you, loyal reader, a leg-up over all your friends. So read on about the best pranks we pulled, had pulled on us or always fantasized about pulling. Be safe and don’t blame us if your friends’ pranks are better.

I’m not sure if this counts or not but this was a prank me and my friend planned but never put into action. Earlier in my college career, when I had gone a long time without a girlfriend or date, my mother was deeply concerned about my romantic life. She was so concerned in fact that every time I so much as mentioned a female she would excitedly ask if she was cute and I was willing to date her. So my friend suggested that one night I should make my dining room look as romantic as possible by decorating it with flowers and candles shortly before my mother would return home from work. I would pretend to be surprised to see my mother home and get very panicky. Hopefully she would become excited, thinking that I had a girl over. At this point my friend would enter the room, take my hand, and tell me that it was time to come clean to my mom. I did end up getting a date before we could put this plan into effect, but perhaps sometime in the future there will be another chance to mess with my mom.

— Garrett Rasko-Martinis
Sports Editor

My mom has always been a “prankster.” For instance, when I was a kid, she took me for a ride to a neighboring town that I’d never been to. She made sure that she took back-roads I was unfamiliar with to get there. It was all part of the “game” she said. She then told me to get out and drove away before my disorientation wore off. Best April Fool’ days in August ever.

— Katie Brenzel
News Editor

Because, as a result of pondering this editorial, I have just realized that I have never carried out an April Fools’ prank, I am making use of this space to announce that I will carry out an April Fools’ prank this year. Yes, I’m talking to you… When you least expect it, expect it. I pity the Fool.

Anyway, since I can’t remember an April Fools’ prank of my own, I will share my friend’s story, because she goes to a school many miles away. Last April 1, my friend called me to let me know that her friend had not touched her dinner and had looked miserable throughout the meal. She had then asked to speak with her afterwards in the dorm, at which time she preceded to tell her that she was pregnant and started to sob. My friend started crying and hugging her and saying that she would help her in any possible way. Then she said “April Fools’.” That’s messed up.

— Laura Herzog
Nation & World Editor

For last year’s April Fools’ Day, I took the hottest hot sauce from my hot sauce collection and rubbed a little bit of it on the doorknob of my dorm bathroom. My suitemate came in, touched the doorknob and proceeded to take his contact lenses out. The hot sauce burned his eyes, ruined one of his contacts and he did not talk to me for a week.

— Bobby Olivier

Bobby tricked me into tasting his hot sauce.

— Matt Huston
Arts & Entertainment Editor