Instead of buying plastic spheres, the College could have spent $100,000 on a 50 Cent concert, according to Cantor. (AP Photo)
by Jason Cantor
The College really dropped the ball(s) on this one.
With the help of many friends, I have put together a list of 100 things the College should have spent $100,000 on instead of plastic, sparkly balls. Some are serious, many are not, but regardless, I think most of you will agree.
100. Extra parking.
99. New gym equipment.
98. Room and board for five lucky students.
97. $15 off every student’s tuition.
96. Snuggies for more than half our students.
95. Toilet paper that isn’t thinner than Mary-Kate Olsen.
94. New pictures in the Rathskeller that aren’t from 1980 .
93. 150 new computers.
92. Convert the old library to “Roscoe’s Den,” an on-campus bar and restaurant.
91. Change the color of the chairs in Kendall Hall’s auditorium.
90. Flu and H1N1 shots for all students and faculty.
89. Bring in Russell Peters.
88. Bring in Jeff Foxworthy.
87. World Series tickets for 750 lucky students.
86. 5,000 similar looking exercise balls.
85. Variety in the food at Eickhoff Dining Hall.
84. Take every student to see an IMAX movie of their choice.
83. A penny to every New Jersey resident.
82. Armor for 500 students to fight the Order of the Golden Lion.
81. An Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 for every floor of every dorm.
80. Free on-campus haircuts.
79. Food and rent for five homeless families.
78. Put a boat yard on the lake.
77. 2,500 kegs of Keystone — the only way this “art” will look good.
75. Drive-thru car wash.
74. Outdoor pool.
73. Ice-skating rink.
72. Demolish Centennial Hall.
71. New cars for six students.
70. Bowling alley.
69. Remodel the Brower Student Center.
68. Bridge between Travers and Wolfe Halls.
67. Extended New Library hours.
66. Create a network between College students and administration so we’re on the same page.
65. On-campus movie theatre.
64. Fix the Packer Hall roof. Seriously — not like the eight other times we were told it was fixed.
63. 100,000 McDoubles from McDonalds.
62. 6,000 DVDs for an on-campus DVD rental.
61. Lights for a soccer stadium.
60. Merry-go-round — questionable, but still a better idea than balls.
59. A concert pianist to play at Eickhoff for a year.
58. 750 massage chairs for classrooms.
57. Two shots of Patrón for each student.
56. Pay for 1/20 of the Yankees’ Parade.
55. 50,000 boxes of tissues for Phillies fans.
54. Save 100,000 children for one day on savethechildren.com.
53. 500,000 pretzels at the Philadelphia Pretzel factory.
52. Petting zoo.
51. HBO for a semester for all on-campus students.
50. 100 47-inch LCD televisions.
49. 20,000 Dominator pizzas.
48. Increase on-campus student worker salaries.
47. Limos, rather than buses, for the Loop.
46. English as a Second Language (ESL) programs for many of our professors.
45. Massage parlor.
44. Three Adderall pills per student for finals.
43. 100 Tempur-Pedic mattresses.
42. 300,000 Super Balls to display on campus.
41. A “drunk bus.”
40. Playground.
39. Education for all students from South Jersey.
38. Buy books for 250 students.
37. Give business students The Wall Street Journal back.
36. Cover the programs we may lose from budget cuts.
35. 8,000 Miley Cyrus CDs and a fire pit to burn them in.
34. Two Miley Cyrus concerts and a fire pit to burn her in afterwards — just kidding.
33. Bring in Bill Clinton .
32. Bring in 50 Cent.
31. Have experts give lectures for every department.
30. 350 Coach purses.
29. Have Kel Mitchell perform on campus — 40 times.
28. On-campus fast food chain.
27. Pay for the entire budget of “Paranormal Activity” — 10 times.
26. Five Quick Chek sandwiches per student.
25. Yearly supply of steroids to all willing College athletes.
24. A College T-shirt for all students and faculty.
23. Salaries for two much-needed Campus Police officers.
22. Security cameras to figure out who’s been stealing cars.
21. A system to register for classes that makes sense. I’m signing up for classes, there’s no reason I should be putting them in a shopping cart.
20. A million Hershey kisses to distribute to make amends with disgruntled students and alumni.
19. Renovation or demolition of Forcina Hall — whichever you prefer.
18. Put the money toward medical research.
17. Build an outdoor concert/activities venue.
16. Fully stocked ice cream truck.
15. 40,000 condoms.
14. Stock the campus with 100 separate $1,000 gold eggs and have an Easter egg hunt.
13. Several campus-wide events to promote school pride.
12. Almost one-third of President Gitenstein’s annual salary.
11. 1,000 iPhones.
(Tim Lee / Photo Editor)
10. Massive hold chains for Larry to complete his transformation to Mr. T.
9. Create a system that will pay College art students for their art, rather than hiring a ballsy artist to play with his balls.
8. Increase funding for Lion’s Television (LTV) so that the shows do not look like they were filmed in my basement.
7. Put The Signal back in color.
6. 400 Segways for all lazy students.
5. 500,000 servings of Ramen noodles.
4. 100,000 Volcano Tacos from Taco Bell.
3. Billboards to tell the world we are no longer Trenton State College.
2. Air conditioning in the Towers.
1. 400 pairs of designer glasses for whoever looked over the proposition to spend $100,000 on four hideous looking balls.
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I just read this article in the printed edition of the Signal and it is by far the best thing I have read in my two and a half years in college so far. Awesome stuff and keep of the great work.
Sorry, but I’m going to have to say this is a stupid article. That $100,000 was not from tuition, or the Student Activity Fee, or anything like that, it was from an art grant given to the school specifically for art, they didn’t have the right to spend it on anything else. Granted, they could have gotten better art, but not any of the things you listed.
Second, don’t you think that if the college spend $100,000 on Segways students would be even more mad?
And you do realize that a movie theatre would cost $100,000 to build, but then we’d have to buy the rights to movies for $10,000/movie on top of that? And we could show old movies, but we do that now in the Stud. So we’d basically spend $100,000 on stadium seating..
Stupid argument and inaccurate facts, considering that the money came from an art grant and couldn’t be used for anything you have listed here…For now on, you probably shouldn’t write articles on things you don’t know anything about…
Thumbs up, I loved the article. We all know that the money was given for art, but I can think of 100 art related things or art pieces that could have been put to better use that those balls.(comment for Matt)
I agree..nonetheless, none of the things mentioned in this article could have been bought instead, hence this article is stupid and pointless…
This is directed to Matt,
Please note the opening paragraph of this article…It specifically says “Some are serious, many are not, but regardless, I think most of you will agree.”
Stop taking yourself so seriously and learn how to have a good laugh. It’s obvious that that was the writer’s intention.
Matt, are you serious? The column is a joke. Go cry.
Great job, best thing I’ve read in the signal in a long time.
Matt, you need to chill out if you can’t appreciate some lighthearted humor. Yes, we all know by now that it came from an art grant.
I think he meant it to be serious, hence the “most of you would agree”…
Either way, anyone can write a hundred random things that cost a lot of money, I don’t see how it’s funny…
And no, you’d be surprised at how many people still think it came out of tuition..just like the author probably did when he wrote this
Matt, did you read any of the comments above the crap you wrote? In the first paragraph, it says this: “Some are serious, many are not, but regardless, I think most of you will agree.” It’s a joke and a commentary that was not to be taken seriously. It merely was to show that the $100,000 could have been spent on better things. This article was hilarious, and was one of the finer satirical pieces the Signal has put out in the history of that fine newspaper. I have went through the back issues, and I have yet to find a better literary masterpiece. So, in conclusion, go find something better to do, rather than try to deride this article. I mean, everyone else who commented on this article already told you you’re wrong. So deal with it, pal.
Also, sorry it took so long for me to respond to your last comment; I had to do a lot of reading and research within all of those back issues. They go all the way back to 1885 in case you were also uninformed about that as well.
Matt… It’s a joke. As Michael said, a satire. Give it up.
Matt it is a joke. As for the state of NJ allocating the money for public art, you do have a point. However, it doesn’t say in the LAW that a famous artist has to be a creator for it. The school only has to prove that the money spent served its purpose. So if the school bought supplies for the new art building and had the students and teachers create a work of public art then the state of New Jersey would have said nothing.
Here are the facts:
There were 75 choices and this was chosen.
I know for a fact that most of the faculty were not informed nor had a vote in the matter.
Students were not given a choice or a vote.
Does this seem at all fishy to you?
Students, Faculty and Staff who sat in the committee that decided this were given multiple votes. The whole campus does not vote on every decision that’s made.
Michael wrote: “It merely was to show that the $100,000 could have been spent on better things.”
That’s what I’m saying, no, it couldn’t have…
Stop telling me I have no sense of humor and realize that you guys are idiots and aren’t comprehending the simple point I’m trying to make.
Moist…
It couldn’t have been spent on ANYTHING BETTER? Are you kidding me? So this was the best possible purchase the College could have made? If you think that, then you obviously have some wacky taste, for which some would call “fruity.” Don’t kid yourself, the money could have been spent on some better art than the pixels. That’s clear. End of discussion. Point: Michael.
Although the money was not from tuition (i think people on campus know by now), its still a fun article…It’s fun to read stuff like this when avoiding to do work. At least someone did research. But on the bright side..TCNJ has balls..good job.
To Informed:
Students, faculty, and staff from the ART DEPARTMENT as well as some administrators sat on the board to decide a CAMPUS WIDE issue. Its not like these balls were placed in the Art building. The fact of the matter is the majority of students and faculty had no say in a campus wide matter and that is the definition of unfairness. That would be like the Civil Engineers one day deciding to build a tower without the consultation of the campus community. My father who is faculty in engineering along with most of the faculty in engineering did not have a say in the artwork. In fact they didn’t even know about it until it went up. CAMPUS WIDE issues should encompass faculty and students from all disciplines not just art. The fact of the matter is this was a SCREW JOB. The man who created the art is from Trenton, New Jersey. Ironic? I think not.
Maybe they should put the balls in Trenton to dress it up a bit. The campus now looks like an amusement park. No competition for the Grounds for Sculpture!
They wouldn’t bother me so much if they weren’t poorly made too. They’re even starting to discolor and peel at the seams!
for $100,000, they could have totally bought a Frederic Remington original bronze sculpture and it would have looked so much more epic than their “balls of steel.”
Granted that the money that funded the art came from a bond/grant, and had to be used for art, I still dislike the selection of these “Pixels.” Of the list, number 9 rang the loudest for me. Overall the list is great and had me rolling at a number of them.
In brief, I believe that art is important: art for art’s sake and for the enjoyment for all, expression and creativity. Art also has its price and can be a matter of taste. I have also read the emails issued regarding the Pixels. But I still do not enjoy these somewhat garish looking Pixels regardless of who the artist is. Where this artist came from, his education or how hyped he’s been by whoever marketed him–these things do not impress me nor make me reconsider the visual violation I experience every time I walk among these… colored spheres. I expected something a bit more befitting of the college.
Amen my friend! If they wanted art, they could have paid multiple fine arts majors to leave their mark on the school.
…and to Matt: I know it fills a void of yours to admire the balls, but I’d be a little less obvious about it :)
Everyone’s already been through it: you find yourself driving by means of a new certain section of town explain how the sign for any “Massage Parlor” or “Asian Spa” in a very spot it does not obligate a massage therapy parlor or use a individual Asian woman existing nearby, and ultizing your current Russell-Crowe-like actually cracked this signal and study the warning since it ended up being meant being read – a naughty time. Instantly your brain is bombarded with thought processes: “How much might this form of affair charge me?” “What do I get?” “Is this illegitimate?” “Are usually these folks almost all Asian?”.Yet Do not concern yourself. It is affordable great and enjoyable. I have experienced handful of experiences and this always have been completely fantastic
Yo Matt you need to learn how those balls can be used for good ;)