Please don’t kill each other

 Whether you are rooting for the Phillies or the Yankees, try not to injure yourself and others during the World Series. (AP Photo)
Whether you are rooting for the Phillies or the Yankees, try not to injure yourself and others during the World Series. (AP Photo)

Hoagie vs. Sub. Italian ice vs. Water ice. Wawa vs. 7-Eleven. “The City” aka Philadelphia vs. “The City” aka New York.

This week, the ultimate South Jersey vs. North Jersey, Philadelphia vs. New York battle that constantly rages at the College — arguably a geographic midpoint — will come to a head in the Yankees-Phillies World Series.

The College is a concentrated microcosm of New Jersey’s torn loyalties to two teams that have been nothing short of spectacular this year. Phillies fans and Yankees fans will exist in the same small area, and for the next week or so, tempers will likely flair and dirty looks will shoot around campus, targeted at those wearing the enemy’s colors. We at The Signal understand that this level of emotion may be too much for some diehard fans to handle, so here are a few simple rules to cope with the stress of watching the games with friends who support the same team, or the opposition.

Set a few ground rules. Before the game starts, lay down a few house rules about what will be acceptable conduct during the upcoming World Series game. For example, if the Yankees score, Yankees fans are not allowed to curse or throw things at the miserable Phillies fans and vice versa. Also, to secure the safety of all in attendance, the removal of any and all potential melee or projectile weapons such as pool cues, construction tools, that stick that keeps the sliding glass door shut, etc.

Do not make any friendly wagers. It may be fun to make a bet on the game or the series, as fans are usually confident their team will come out on top, but if things don’t go as planned, having debt to friends in the back of one’s mind in addition to the sorrow of a Yankees/Phillies loss may cause potential violence, especially if the first rule is not obeyed.

If all else fails, create a physical barrier between yourself and other fans. Every group of friends has that one person who just cannot handle his or her team losing on such a big stage. In this case, that person may need to be quarantined in another room or house to avoid unwanted conflict, especially if the upcoming game may decide the outcome of the series. No one wants Jimmy, who can’t handle the taunts from opposing fans, to threaten burning down the dorm if provoked.

Try to follow these basic concepts and you may be able to actually see which team gets to sit in a parade headed through its home city. Let the best city win, and batten down the hatches.