Battle of the Sexes

Arguments, bickering and fights

Sean says: After any kind of disagreement with your man, your first inclination might be to patch things up right away, especially if you’re at fault. Speaking from experience, this is rarely the best course of action.

If you just fought, odds are both of you are emotionally charged and possibly irrational. Any immediate discussion has the heightened potential for disaster. Better to wait things out.

What seems like a huge deal for both of you in the heat of the moment could mean very little the next morning. In previous relationships, when I’ve been able to resist the urge to dig my heels in, I’ve found that going to bed is enough to abate my anger.

The next morning is the time to talk rationally. By then, you’ll both have had enough time to think. You might even find the source of your disagreement to be minor.

Despite what you may think, your man does want to arrive at some resolution. This approach is more than a delay tactic or a way to avoid the issue.

While we may not be the best communicators at times, many of us are adept at repairing things, especially our relationships. It may cost you some sleep and sanity if we don’t want to talk right away, but this will inevitably put you on the fast track to a meaningful apology and some passionate, early morning make-up sex.

If that isn’t enough to soothe you to sleep, take comfort in the fact that you can be really sexy when you’re mad.

Casey says: In the heat of an argument, “I’m sorry, I love you” isn’t a magical phrase making everything better. While saying those words may end a fight, most girls are looking for a resolution and assurance that an argument’s subject matter won’t be an issue again.

If a guy gets emotionally overloaded during an argument, his first instinct is to walk away or end the fight. But for a lot of girls, coming to a solution is our main agenda, which is why women want to talk until everything is worked out. If it’s absolutely necessary for you to leave, at least make a point to explain to your girl that you can’t think clearly now, but the two of you will talk later. It’s a much better alternative than storming out, slamming doors or punching walls. And it will probably produce better results.

Listen to your girl. In between shouts and name-calling, she’s trying to make a point and most likely won’t stop pressing the issue until she thinks you understand. Show her you actually care about what she has to say before emotions get out of hand.

Obviously, girls can get emotional during arguments, but in most cases it comes from complete and utter frustration. Admittedly, I can get worked up during an argument to the point of tears, but the worst thing a guy can do is ask his girl, “Is it your time of the month or something?” Even if it is, it doesn’t matter. Never ask. Period.

In two weeks: Figure out the mystery behind holiday shopping for the opposite sex.