Planned student center revolving doors are problematic

An article that appeared in The Signal last week, “Apartments to be completed August 2009,” mentioned that the College planned to replace the sliding doors in Brower Student Center with revolving doors. William Rudeau, director of Construction, said the new doors will help save on energy costs by reducing heat loss.

Yes, that is a good thing. If getting rid of the sliding doors will improve the efficiency of the building and save this College a desperately needed dime or two, I am all for it. My issue is with revolving doors.

Allow me to paint a terrifying picture. Imagine yourself in the student center at around 12:15 p.m., huffing and puffing to class after purchasing a high-priced, low-quality meal from the Food Court.

In front of you is a terrifying obstacle: a spinning dervish of steel and glass. To pass unscathed, you need timing, quickness and above all, courage.

Everyone has stood in front of a revolving door, as I have, and known what it is to fear.

This is the thought process hundreds of students will be reduced to each day:

“Should I go now? No. OK maybe now. Damn. Oh! Damn. Maybe? No. I’m so scared!” College students, robbed of dignity en masse.

I know what you’re thinking. I thought the same thing as I read about the revolving doors last week:

“I’m just trying to get to class! I don’t need this!” No, reader. Nobody does.

Imagine the traffic jams a revolving door would create at an already-busy entry point. Imagine the sense of despair you would feel if you dropped a book inside the spinning cell.

Imagine the pranks! Imagine a team of mischievous, mischievous frat boys holding the door still with you inside, clawing at the glass for mercy, their jeering, backward-hat-wearing faces giving no quarter.

This is just a glimpse of the doom that would undoubtedly dawn on our campus should the College be allowed to proceed with its plans. It is a doom we shouldn’t allow to pass.

There are so many better alternatives to a revolving door. Here’s one: a regular glass door. This would eliminate any requirement of timing, balance and agility a revolving door would present.

The glass will help prevent anyone from having a door opened in their face, an ever-present danger with non-glass doors.

In addition, such a door would likely be even better for heat conversation than a revolving door.

A regular door: saving heat – and lives.

I admit I’ve taken the sliding doors for granted. I didn’t even have to think about them as I passed by, leaving me free to ponder: Did I do my homework? Will we have a quiz today? How many pairs of underwear am I wearing?

Every day, the sliding doors smoothly allow hundreds of students to pass through unobstructed.

The next time you walk through those convenient, non-terrifying doors, you should give thanks that you’ll never have to be afraid of them.

My advice for the future is to be prepared for the revolution (Get it? Revolving doors!). I’ve already purchased a helmet and kneepads. Hard times are coming.

About Myles Ma 74 Articles
Myles Ma