I’ve been with my girlfriend for some time now and we’re ready to move onto the next step in our intimacy. Although I can’t wait to get to that next level, I have a good amount of concern because I’m still a virgin and she isn’t. I’m afraid that when we do finally do it, I won’t be as good as or better than the other guys she’s been with. What should I do?
Dear Confused Virgin,
Well, first I’d like to commend you for admitting your fear and realizing that you may not actually know all the moves to make your girlfriend’s toes curl. A lot of people would have a hard time coming out and saying they don’t know what they are doing. Second, I’d like to tell you that you are not the only one. A lot of girls and guys end up going out with someone who has more experience than they do, and they don’t really know how to please their partners because, frankly, they’ve never had to try. A key thing to remember is that no matter how good other guys have been, it really shouldn’t matter to you. Your main goal is not to beat the other guys, but to make sure your girlfriend has a wonderful time. Once you omit that competition, you won’t feel so bad if you don’t do as well as you’d hoped.
I suggest you talk to your girlfriend and tell her your concern. This may sound like a downer, but it really isn’t. If you voice how you are feeling, she’ll be more apt to help you out and not give you a hard time if there is a glitch during your intimacy. Hopefully the following tips that I’ve devised will make you into the sex stud you wish to be for that special someone.
1. Don’t go straight for the gold. Most people know that when you are being intimate, foreplay is a great way to get both partners revved up for sex. But a lot of first-timers are so concentrated on the actual intercourse part that they completely forget about the foreplay. For a woman, it takes a little more stimulation to get to the level that a guy does in only a few minutes. Take your time.
2. Look for signs that he or she is enjoying what you are doing, then do more of it. There are a few telltale signs that your partner will exhibit if they are enjoying themselves. Noise, biting of the lip or grabbing onto sheets, pillows, your hair, etc. are just a few. If you see that your partner is not exhibiting any of those signs, change what you are doing and see if that works out better. If your partner is doing one or all, keep going – you’re in the clear.
3. If you ask you shall receive. Ask your partner what he or she likes or dislikes and then incorporate that into your intimate time together. Your partner will be happy because it is obvious that you are trying your best to please them, and you’ll be happy because you’ll know what to do!
My final advice is to not get too nervous about it. If you do, you may cramp up and risk losing all the fun and intimacy you should experience while having sex. Remember, intercourse is a primal instinct, so it’s not like you won’t have a clue. I would say, with no fear of being corny, just let your passion run their course!