National Lampoon’s Sports Minute or So

By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart and Chris Strait

International players now make up 29 percent of Major League Baseball. The New York Mets have the most international players on their current roster with 72,000. Half of Boston’s roster is foreign born, but they all get bused in.

Denzel Washington’s son will make his NFL Europe debut for the Hamburg Sea Devils. Well done, Jackie Robinson! Denzel said he is very proud of his son for making it as a European football player and he’s such a good actor that he said it convincingly, too.

In American football, Drew Bledsoe finally retired from being benched. Unfortunately he’s already being benched from retirement in favor of Jake Plummer.

Suspended Titan Pac-Man Jones was ringside for his best friend Zab Judah’s fight with Ruben Galvan, mainly because he’s got nothing else to do. Thankfully, the fight was not in Vegas. Now that the suspended Tennessee Titan has the year free, may we suggest he try his hand at acting. First audition? The Longest Yard: Part II.

And the Chicago Blackhawks will have the first pick in the NHL Draft. The Blackhawks plan on using the pick to draft a new franchise. Either that or to draft fans that care.

The 300-pound, slow-moving Florida manatee will be removed from the endangered species list and will instead play line for the Miami Dolphins. Although if he can pitch, the Padres are also interested.

National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So) is a humorous look at the sports world, written by five comedians and edited by Sports Illustrated humor columnist Steve Hofstetter.

For more info on the Sports Minute (Or So), visit