National Lampoon’s Sports Minute or So

By Steve Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart and Chris Strait

Boxer Omar Nino Romero became the first fighter ever to be suspended by the Nevada commission for methamphetamine. Although Romero was given the chance to defend himself, he could not sit still long enough to do so.

Allen Iverson said he wants to finish his career in Denver and “go out like Reggie Miller.” Which is perfect, because Miller also didn’t win a championship.

Boston Globe sportswriter Ron Borges was suspended two months for plagiarizing. I’m hoping that no news organizations already used that same sentence.

New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas received a contract extension for coaching the Knicks all the way from the cellar to the basement. Minutes after the signing, MSG Chairman James Dolan checked into rehab. Thomas should be glad he doesn’t coach in the NFL – he’d have been fired five times by now.

A new study has revealed that just 10 percent of Ohio State’s basketball players received degrees at the school between the years of 1996 and 1999. On the positive side, only 10 percent of UNLV’s basketball players actually graduated high school.

AT&T has unveiled an exclusive agreement with Giants outfielder Barry Bonds who said he’d be open to the prospect of extending his contract until 2008. The pharmaceutical industry is thrilled.

A 3-foot-long reptile unexpectedly slithered through the press box during the fourth inning of an Indians game. It’s believed to be the slimiest creature to cross paths with the Tribe since Albert Belle.

National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So) is a humorous look at the sports world, written by five comedians and edited by Sports Illustrated humor columnist Steve Hofstetter.

For more info on the Sports Minute (Or So), visit