National Lampoon’s Sports Minute or So

By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart and Chris Strait

Manny Ramirez reported to Red Sox training camp six days ahead of his anticipated arrival. He was actually only three days early, but that’s still six days ahead of when we thought he’d get there. Ramirez admitted he only stumbled upon training camp accidentally while looking for Supercuts.

In football, the Philadelphia Eagles gave backup quarterback A.J. Feeley a three-year extension. The only person more surprised than Jeff Garcia was A.J. Feeley. Donovan McNabb was thrilled, as there’s no chance Feeley will outperform him.

Ohio State’s basketball team credits its top ranking in part to a motivational speech by Buckeyes football coach Jim Tressell. Expected in March is Part 2 of the lesson, entitled “Coping with Postseason Disappointment.”

On the same night, Kobe Bryant hit 21 free throws and Shaquille O’Neal passed the 25,000 point mark. Kobe said he is looking forward to 25,000 career points and Shaq said he is looking forward to 21 career free throws.

Wrestler Rulon Gardner sidestepped death for a third time after a plane crash. We’re hoping Gardner will be just as lucky later this week when he has drinks with Howard K. Stern.

And the famous 1909 Honus Wagner tobacco card sold for $2.35 million, just $2.35 million more than a Walt Weiss rated rookie. The buyer paid $1 million more than the card is allegedly worth, so he was immediately hired by the Texas Rangers. The card was co-owned by Wayne Gretzky, who sold the collector’s item so his wife wouldn’t lose it in a poker game.

National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So) is a humorous look at the sports world, written by five comedians and edited by Sports Illustrated humor columnist Steve Hofstetter.

For more info on the Sports Minute (Or So), visit