This week on eBay: v2.0

One of my favorite columns from last semester was my investigation of the weird and wacky crap you can find on eBay. Well, I’m at it again, so let’s try This Week on eBay: Part 2!

Item #9507240223 –

Two-Headed Calf Mount

I’m sure we’ve all looked around our homes and said, “You know what I need? I need a stuffed two-headed calf in my living room!” Don’t let Ripley’s Believe It or Not! create a monopoly on deformed animals. I mean, come on, $3,000 is chump change! How many of your friends own two-headed calves? I mean, look at all the attention that kitten with only one eye has received this week!

Item #7404512881 –

Fine Art Celebrity Mug Shots

Whoever created this isn’t that great an artist, but he definitely has a great idea. Take the Brady Bunch tic-tac-toe board design and fill it with celebrity mug shots. Of course, Michael Jackson and Nick Nolte are on here, but there are some other great ones, like Macaulay Culkin, Martha Stewart and my favorite, James Brown. And I love how this is billed as “fine art.” I mean, would anyone in their right mind hang this next to a Picasso or Cezanne and say to themselves, “Oh, well, these are both equally great in different ways.”

Item #8274498065 –

Extremely Rare X-Man Gamex Atari 2600 Boxed NTSC

If you think Atari made a game about one of Marvel’s X-Men very early on, you couldn’t be more wrong. X-Man isn’t some mutant with super powers. He’s simply a guy who wants to get laid. In the game, X-Man has to run through a maze, dodging things like scissors, teeth and crabs (the crustaceans, though they probably represent something else), all so he can “produce mutually satisfactory results” with a naked girl at the end of the maze. Naughty Atari games are a precious commodity, and the Buy-It-Now price on this bad boy is just under $400.

Item #6620366697 –

Scott Baio 9″ Novelty Clock Decorative

The last movie that Scott Baio did was “Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2.” Moving on, someone thought it would be absolutely brilliant to take a shot of a shirtless Baio from when he was still a teen, and then, to make certain that the person was getting his or her point across, use that same image three times on the same nine-inch clock. I said nine-inch clock, you sicko!