Ask Kayy

Dear Kayy,

No point in beating around the bush. I’m really self-conscious about my penis size. I’ve had three sexual partners, and none of them said anything, but I still feel like it is too small and they would enjoy sex with me more if I was bigger. I’ve heard the average size is eight inches, and mine is more than a few inches smaller than that. I’ve been so preoccupied with the fear that the girl will make fun of me to her friends that sometimes I totally back out of hooking up. I’ve heard of those pumps or pills but don’t know of anybody who has used them and I’m too embarrassed to ask. What do you think?


Little Guy

Dear Little Guy,

In my extensive sex research, I’ve found that men put an overwhelming amount of stress on penis size, while women rarely complain. According to the Kinsey Institute’s New Report on Sex, the second most common inquiry they receive from men is concerning their “small” penises (the first most common would be about maintaining an erection). Meanwhile, there is absolutely no research confirming that women would prefer a larger penis. In fact, data shows women don’t even take penis length into account when sizing up their sexual encounters.

This aside, popular ideas about what classifies as a “large” versus a “small” penis is pretty inaccurate. In actuality, the average penis size is about six inches (not eight like you’d heard). In fact, the largest human penis ever recorded was 13 inches, and only a small percentage of men grow past eight inches, so those friends of yours who boast anywhere near a foot are full of it . And if they’re telling the truth, then they’re abnormal, not you! (And girls are probably afraid of them!)

Most men who fear their penises are too small have no actual problem functioning, and it’s all an issue of paranoia or self-consciousness. If that’s the case, and you feel it’s seriously inhibiting your sexuality, you might benefit from speaking to a counselor or even a supportive friend. This is more of a self-esteem issue than a physiological one.

If you are two inches or larger, you are perfectly capable of functioning normally. If you are part of the group that is less than two inches, you might speak to a urologist about any possible way to correct the problem, but by no means should you go anywhere near pumps or pills! I’ve received my own share of penis enlarging, orgasm enhancing junk e-mails in my school account, but they’re total scams and possibly even dangerous, so steer clear.

Statistically, the chances of you being less than two inches are very slim, and you probably just have a skewed idea of what size is “normal” or attractive. Why do men think they need 10 inches to do it right? Probably because of porn (most men don’t have abnormally large penises and mullets like porn stars do, just like how most women don’t have double Ds and creatively trimmed vaginas); their friends’ lies (your friends probably exaggerate about their size because they are insecure or compulsive liars); or actual experiences seeing other men’s penises (seeing one from the side or front in the locker room isn’t the same as looking down on a guy).

When asked if size really matters, I say “it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.” I mean it. A girl who complements her man on his “gloriously big and powerful member” is probably just saying so because she knows it’s what he wants to hear. Meanwhile, she’s silently praying he’ll start touching her clitoris so maybe she will have an orgasm for once.

Even a smaller-than-average penis can stimulate the vaginal opening and nerves around it, which gives a woman a lot more pleasure than deep penetration (unless you’ve had a medically implanted G-Spot). If you can master the female orgasm, chances are she won’t even be able to remember what size your penis is. So, in looking out for your next partner and for all of womankind, I suggest you forget all the Jenna Jameson movies you’ve seen, realize that your penis is perfectly fine the way it is and learn how to truly please a woman.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

– Kayy

Information from – The Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex