Many people have argued that college is the time to find your “self.” They say it is your chance to explore many different ideas and find the one most suitable for explaining or bringing out this “self.”
For me, this idea (or belief) was once Christianity. However, after a brief stint as a Christian, I suddenly had the instinct to reject it. At the time, I didn’t really spell out my reasons for doing such a thing. Now, this abrupt rejection has led me to ask the following question: Why am I not a Christian?
Though Christianity has brought much good to society, one could make the case that it has been equally harmful. In the name of God, many wars were fought (the French Wars of Religion, Thirty Years War, etc.), many heretics were burned and many great thinkers were silenced. However, my rejection of Christianity stemmed more from the complete ignorance that some Christians displayed regarding these matters. More importantly, it stemmed from how Christianity was established in this world.
Many people assume that Christianity was established in a peaceful, Christ-like manner, but its establishment was perhaps one of the bloodiest known to mankind. This led me to question whether Christianity was as fundamental as certain persons made it to be. I mean, at least intuitively, if God was as powerful and good as the Bible purports, the means of spreading his word shouldn’t have been as violent and forceful. Even today, many people (politicians, preachers, teachers, etc.) attempt to force religious dogmas on us – certainly not Christ-like behavior.
Another point on which I diverge from Christianity is its stance on morality. Most followers of Christianity (or any theistic religion) hold to the claim that “morality is dependent on God.” I take this to mean that if God did not exist, then morality (as we know it) would be lost. As it states in the Bible, “everything would be permissible.” Yet, I felt troubled by this notion because morality seemed to extend beyond the dictates of God. That is, morality seems to be something more than just what God says is “right or wrong.”
In the end, I’m certain my doubts about religion (Christianity in particular) won’t create groundbreaking arguments against it. But that wasn’t my point. I just wanted to offer an example of a person testing his beliefs. At times, we hesitate to question our beliefs for numerous reasons – social pressures, overwhelming utility, conformity, comfort, etc. How else will we know what they truly are?